Reasons to End Your Therapist Relationship:
Breaking Up with a Therapist: A Guide for a Graceful Exit
Ending a therapeutic relationship can be an emotionally challenging and complex process, particularly when considering the ethical implications and the importance of finding a suitable replacement provider. Mollie Forrester, a licensed social worker and Director of Patient and Family Experience at UW Medicine's Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, offers guidance on when and how to part ways with a therapist who isn't meeting your needs.
Why terminate a therapeutic relationship?
The primary goal of therapy is to enhance overall well-being, but if clients feel unfulfilled or aren’t making progress toward their treatment objectives, then it may be time to seek alternative care.
Several reasons might prompt a client to consider ending a therapy relationship, including:
- Sluggish Progress: If clients fail to see meaningful improvements despite numerous sessions, they should reevaluate the therapeutic approach or choose a new therapist.
- Inappropriate Training: Therapy is a highly specialized field, making it essential for clients to find a provider who has the required experience and training to address their unique needs. For instance, clients seeking counseling for the loss of a loved one may benefit from working with a grief specialist.
- Cultural Differences: For Black or other POC clients, finding a therapist who understands microaggressions and racial issues is crucial. In such cases, clients should feel empowered to switch providers if their needs are not being met.
- Lack of Vulnerability: A fundamental aspect of therapy is fostering an environment where clients can openly share personal aspects, building trust over time. If clients find themselves unable to open up due to a lack of trust, fear of criticism, or other reasons, it may be necessary to try a new therapist.
- Disrespect of Boundaries: A therapist-client relationship involves maintaining professional boundaries. Therapists should refrain from discussing personal matters, pushing clients beyond their comfort zones, or engaging in unprofessional behavior.
How to end a therapy relationship
Ghosting a therapist might seem like an easier option, but Mollie Forrester advises against it. Instead, have an honest conversation with your therapist to discuss your reservations, and together, decide whether there is a solution or whether it's time to move on.
Here’s how to navigate the breakup conversation:
- Express your concerns, such as inadequate progress, lack of comfort, or cultural mismatch, asking for a new provider recommendation.
- Express gratitude for the therapist’s past assistance.
- Communicate that the relationship isn’t working, and it’s best to pursue therapy with someone new.
If an in-person conversation feels daunting, an email or text can also serve as an appropriate alternative. Be sure to thank the therapist for their assistance and ask for a referral to a new provider.
Although ending a therapy relationship can be difficult, remember that therapy is about finding the right fit for your personal healing journey. Be honest with yourself and your therapist, and don’t hesitate to seek help when necessary.
Guest writer: Lori Mae Yvette Calibuso Acob, intern for the Garvey Institute for Brain Health Solutions.
Science plays an essential role in understanding mental health and improving health-and-wellness, as it offers evidence-based strategies for enhancing mental health and fostering well-being.
In light of the importance of mental health, it's critical for clients to find therapists with appropriate training and experience, ensuring the best possible outcomes for their relationships and personal growth.
Prioritizing mental health consequences, just like the physical health, is an integral part of the health-and-wellness holistic approach, as mental well-being significantly influences an individual's quality of life and overall well-being.
