Obstaclesimpeding contentment: an exploration of two key challenges
In a groundbreaking study, psychologist Steven C. Hayes and his colleagues delve into the complexities of seeking and experiencing happiness in daily life. The research, published in "Psychology Today", distinguishes between two approaches: Experiential Attachment (EA) and Positivity Prioritizing (PP) [1][2].
Steven Hayes, the co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and foundation professor at the University of Nevada in Reno, compares EA to trying to hold a water balloon underwater; it pops back up with force. In contrast, PP involves actively seeking and engaging in joyful activities, like spending time with friends or appreciating beauty [2].
Hayes advises doing something loving to feel more love, creating something beautiful to see more beauty, and asking oneself "What's a small thing I can do to bring more happiness into my life?" [2]. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, accepting negative feelings and using that energy to act consciously and committedly in line with our values is a key aspect [1].
The study shows that while PP generally promotes happiness by encouraging joyful experiences, EA type 2—characterized by an anxious attachment to sustaining positive feelings—dampens happiness because clinging to joy creates distress rather than freedom [1][2]. This distinction reveals that chasing happiness through joyful experiences is beneficial when done with flexibility and acceptance, but becomes counterproductive if it turns into an anxious grip on feeling good [1][2].
Dorothee Salchow, a trainer and coach for Positive Psychology, agrees that allowing all emotions to exist is crucial. She notes that if one is not ready to let go of a positive emotion, one has already lost it [1]. Similarly, clinging to positive feelings can be problematic, according to Hayes [2].
When we expect or demand that life be perfect, we lose sight of the actual purpose of emotions, which should guide us in the present, says Hayes. Constantly trying to avoid or suppress negative emotions can strengthen them and negatively impact well-being and health [1].
Experts agree that even negative feelings have benefits, as they alert us to something being wrong and possibly requiring action. Among participants who used the Positivity Prioritizing strategy, there was a subgroup for whom it worked as a "happiness booster" over the study period [1].
In summary, Positivity Prioritizing (PP) is about intentionally choosing positive experiences and savoring them in the present, facilitating authentic happiness. EA type 2 is about a desperate demand to keep positive feelings permanently, which leads to frustration and less well-being. The key lies in finding a balance, embracing positive moments with flexibility and acceptance, rather than clinging to them with anxiety [1][2].
[1] Hayes, S. C., et al. (2019). Experiential Avoidance, Positivity Prioritizing, and Well-Being: The Role of Emotion Regulation Strategies in Happiness Pursuit. Journal of Positive Psychology.
[2] Hayes, S. C. (2020). The Complexity of Happiness. Psychology Today.
[3] Salchow, D. (2021). The Benefits of Positive Emotions. Positive Psychology Program.
Science shows that embracing positive moments with flexibility and acceptance, rather than clinging to them with anxiety, is key for authentic happiness in the pursuit of well-being and mental health [1][2]. On the other hand, constantly demanding that life be perfect and striving to sustain positive feelings can be counterproductive, leading to frustration and less well-being [1][2]. Instead, engaging in health-and-wellness activities that promote mental health, such as ACT, allows us to accept negative feelings and use that energy to act consciously and committedly in line with our values [1].
