Mourning the Departure of a Mother: Strategies for Daughters to Cope Effectively
Losing a mother is a profound and life-changing experience, one that can leave individuals feeling lost and overwhelmed. However, there are resources available to help navigate this difficult journey.
Books to Help with Grief
Several books have been written to provide guidance and comfort during this challenging time. "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual" by Elaine Mallon, "Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss" by Hope Edelman, and "How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults" by Lois F. Akner with Catherine Whitney are just a few examples. These books offer insights, strategies, and stories from others who have experienced similar losses, providing a sense of community and understanding.
Gender and Grief
Research has shown that women who experience the loss of a mother are more likely to be affected in various ways compared to men. They may experience a greater decline in self-esteem, be more likely to binge drink, and have a more intense grief response. Additionally, a 2015 study found that women have a more difficult time adjusting to the loss of a parent, and a 2021 study linked parental loss with depression and a compromised sense of self in young adults.
The Impact of Grief on Health
Grief after the loss of a mother can have significant impacts on physical and mental health. A large Danish study highlighted increased vulnerability in mothers after child loss, showing that they are at higher risks of severe accidents, illnesses, or even suicide. Grief is also linked to increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure.
Coping Mechanisms
Focusing on happy reminders such as pictures, books, or keepsakes can provide comfort during the grieving process. Mindfulness, the ability to focus on the moment, can help manage painful memories related to the loss. Offering support to others who have experienced parental loss can also be an important part of one's grief journey.
Seeking Support
Local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can provide assistance during the grieving process. Maternal support can come from various figures, not just blood relatives. Remember, it's okay to ask for help.
Long-Term Grief and Mental Health
If grief persists for more than a year or interferes with daily tasks, speaking with a mental health professional may be beneficial. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) lists a variety of normal emotions in the year following parental loss, including regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness. It's important to remember that these feelings are normal and will pass with time and support.
Crisis Resources
For those experiencing overwhelming grief or considering self-harm, resources such as the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, and Befrienders Worldwide offer immediate help.
Honoring a Mother's Memory
Honoring a mother's memory through personal achievements or charitable donations can provide a sense of personal accomplishment and help keep her memory alive.
In conclusion, the loss of a mother is a profound experience, but there is help and support available. By seeking out resources, connecting with others, and taking care of our mental and physical health, we can navigate this challenging time and find a path to healing.
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