Breaking Free from the Dating Rollercoaster: Young Women Embrace "Boysober"
By Samantha Jones
Time to read: ~3 mins
An increasing number of young females are shunning males who are frequently intoxicated. - Girls pledging to "cleanse" or "purify" male companions
Love in the 21st century can be a wild ride. Navigating the ins and outs, questions of commitment and compatibility, and dealing with heartbreak is enough to make anyone want to call it quits. But not Gen Z. This generation is known for shaking up the status quo and entering relationships differently than their predecessors. Casual dating is on the decline, and a new approach to dating is gaining momentum - "boysober."
Whether you've heard of it or not, this trend is making waves on social media, particularly TikTok. The hashtag #boysober boasts millions of followers. Essentially, "boysober" means taking a break from dates, flirting, and anything romantic to focus on oneself. It's a form of self-care - a detox from romantic entanglements, if you will. And more and more young women are finding it empowering.
The phenomenon was first popularized by American comedian Hope Woodard in 2022, as reported by the "New York Times." She coined the term during her stand-up act, where she spoke candidly about her own year-long abstinence from men and romantic pursuits. Woodard sees "boysober" as a means to break free from seeking false validation through dates, situationships, and casual encounters. By channeling that energy into something else, young women can focus on understanding themselves and their needs better.
The Dangers of Situationships
Situationships are all too common in Gen Z's world. These are romantic or sexual involvements that last for an extended period but lack commitment. Elizabeth Armstrong, a sociologist at the University of Michigan, defines situationships as "a prolonged sexual or romantic involvement that lasts six months or longer and is not considered furthering by one or both parties." Unlike traditional relationships, a situationship is more like a relationship with an expiration date, often dissolving when one party finds a "better" option.
Woodard acknowledges that the "boysober" trend isn't exclusive to women - men could also benefit from taking a break from relationships. However, the concept has resonated particularly with young women. By taking a step back from romantic relationships, women can heal from past emotional baggage and gain clarity about their desires, needs, and boundaries. They can learn to be comfortable on their own, appreciate friendships, and develop a healthier approach to romantic relationships when they choose to re-enter the dating scene.
Getting Sober: The Benefits
- Emotional Healing: By avoiding casual dating and emotional entanglements, young women can focus on healing from past heartaches and trauma. This healing process can help them build resilience and avoid toxic relationships in the future.
- Self-Discovery: The "boysober" approach encourages introspection and exploration of one's desires, needs, and boundaries. This self-awareness can lead to healthier relationships and personal growth.
- Reduced Pressure: Taking a break from dating can help reduce the pressure to constantly seek validation from others. This space allows women to focus on their emotional well-being and personal goals.
Embracing "boysober" can be a powerful tool for personal growth and healing. Whether it lasts for a month or a year, the "boysober" trend demonstrates that self-care and prioritizing one's emotional well-being can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the long run.
- Young women, inspired by the "boysober" trend popularized by Hope Woodard, have started taking a break from romantic relationships and romantic pursuits to focus on themselves, using platforms like TikTok to share their experiences.
- According to Elizabeth Armstrong, a sociologist at the University of Michigan, situationships - prolonged romantic or sexual involvements without commitment - are prevalent in Gen Z's world, and "boysober" provides a means for young women to heal from past emotional baggage and gain clarity about their desires and needs.
- Embracing the "boysober" lifestyle offers several advantages, such as emotional healing, self-discovery, and reduced pressure to constantly seek validation from others.
- The "boysober" trend shows that prioritizing self-care and emotional well-being can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the long run, as young women learn to be comfortable on their own and develop a healthier approach to romantic relationships.
