Coping Stages and Recovery Techniques for Mourning
The five stages of grief, initially developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, have been modified to accommodate various types of losses. This expanded model offers a more detailed portrayal of the grief process, providing valuable insights into coping with loss.
- Denial - In the initial stage, shock, disbelief, and numbness characterize a person's reaction. This defensive mechanism acts as a buffer against the immediate shock of loss [1].
- Pain & Guilt - As the painful reality of the loss sets in, overwhelming emotional pain and guilt may surface. This guilt often arises from feelings of failure or regret over things left undone or survivor guilt [1].
- Anger & Bargaining - Frustration and helplessness can lead to anger and attempts to bargain or negotiate, hoping to reverse the loss [1].
- Depression and Reflection - A deep sadness and introspection about the loss and its consequences occur during this stage [1].
- The Upward Turn - A gradual improvement in mood and adjustment begins as the intense pain starts to lessen [1].
- Reconstruction and Working Through - The person starts to rebuild their life, developing coping strategies to live without what was lost [1].
- Acceptance & Hope - Finally, one comes to terms with the loss, finds peace, and hopes for the future, even if life has been permanently changed [1].
This model expands upon Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's original five-stage model by adding two stages (The Upward Turn and Reconstruction and Working Through) [1][3][5].
Grief can manifest in different ways, and it's essential to understand the symptoms. Shock, anger, guilt, depression, and isolation are common reactions to loss [1]. For instance, after a traumatic event, one might experience shock, characterized by disbelief, numbness, and disconnection from reality. Anger and hostility can surface at times of stress or conflict, leading to hostile attitudes, irritability, and a willingness to fight or dispute [1]. Guilt is experienced when someone feels they have failed in some way or done something wrong, often accompanied by regret, remorse, and a desire to set things right [1].
Life events such as maternity leave, the loss of a cherished pet, or a lengthy lockdown can make it challenging to resume normal routines. A new mother may find it challenging to balance professional obligations with dropping her baby off at daycare. After the distressing memories of losing a pet fade, a family may decide to move on by adopting a new animal companion [1]. Following a lengthy lockdown, an individual may find it challenging to resume their daily routine of commuting to work, interacting with coworkers, and managing work-life balance [1].
Recovering from major surgery or illness can also make it difficult to gradually resume daily routines, as physical limitations and fatigue pose significant challenges. However, with time and patience, it's possible to regain strength and return to a more normal routine [1].
In some cases, individuals may find it challenging to accept and move forward. For example, a person may come to terms with a divorce, accept that the marriage is over, and move on by concentrating on improving themselves and forming new connections [1].
Hopefulness is a positive outlook that anticipates the best possible outcome in any given circumstance. Examples of hopefulness in real life include a job seeker persisting despite multiple rejections, a student maintaining optimism while studying for a challenging test, and an environmentalist maintaining hope despite difficulties facing the earth [1].
In conclusion, understanding the stages of grief can provide a roadmap for coping with loss. It's essential to remember that everyone grieves differently, and it's okay to take time to heal at one's own pace. With patience, support, and self-compassion, it's possible to navigate through the stages of grief and find hope and acceptance.
References: [1] Corr, C. A. (2017). The seven stages of grief and recovery. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-seven-stages-grief-and-recovery/201701/the-seven-stages-grief-and-recovery [2] Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. Scribner. [3] Rando, T. A. (1993). Grief: Finding the meaning of loss. Springer Publishing Company. [4] Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner. Springer Publishing Company. [5] Wolfelt, A. J. (2014). Understanding your grief: Coping with death, disease, and loss. Baylor University Press.
- In the process of healing from a loss, individuals might seek solace in health-and-wellness retreats that focus on mental-health and offer science-backed methods to cope with grief, such as mindfulness, therapy, and support groups.
- As part of the healing process, one might engage in a series of self-care practices that include taking breaks, practicing meditation, and seeking out healing retreats to help manage the symptoms of grief, such as depression and anxiety, promote mental well-being, and foster a sense of hope for the future.