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Avoid such utterances.

Careful words are crucial when speaking to a child. Absolutely forbid saying harmful phrases, irrespective of the situation.

Children's language should be carefully selected, intentionally, and carefully. Statements that...
Children's language should be carefully selected, intentionally, and carefully. Statements that should under no circumstances be spoken to a child.

Avoid such utterances.

Straight-Up Talk: Words matter, especially when speaking to a child. It's crucial to think before we speak, ensuring our words are chosen with care and thoughtfulness.

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to let our emotions get the best of us and say things we might regret later. Yet, words have power, sometimes more potent than physical actions.

In the 19th century, child psychology wasn't a focus. Today, we know better. Our words can mold a child's personality, shaping their future and impacting their adult life. Psychological traumas from childhood can ripple through an entire life, leaving deep scars.

Send a Child to Where?

A parent's imagination knows no bounds when it comes to threats. Prisons, orphanages, the police, a wicked woman, or homelessness might be on the list. Initially, these threats might scare the child and instill a fear of losing family. However, over time, the initial shock wears off, and the child stops believing in your empty threats. They may even grow to disrespect or act out more, sensing the void in your words.

A Heart Attack or Ruin?

Fearing losing parents is one of a child's main fears. When you speak of having a heart attack or ruining someone, they take it literally, even if you meant it as a figure of speech. The guilt you intended doesn't materialize as intended but instead manifests as a destructive emotional reaction.

One of a Kind, But Not in a Good Way

Calling a child "useless," "sloppy," or "aimless" is a surefire way to lower and destroy a child's self-esteem. Ideally, these phrases should be avoided, especially in front of family and friends. By doing this, parents inadvertently create a behavior model that will be replicated in adult life.

No Time for You?

Busy parents can easily brush off a child, treating them like an inhibitor or inconvenience. But remember, they're still small and need your attention. Even if you're running late, take a moment to talk and explain. Brushing them off can instill a sense of inadequacy and uselessness.

Comparisons Are Odious

Comparing a child to others, whether siblings or peers, can create stress and damage their self-esteem. It's best to avoid this practice. Instead, focus on positive reinforcement and celebrate each child's individual successes.

Easy Peasy, Lemon Squeezy?

Diminishing a child's achievements harms their self-worth. Instead of making them feel unworthy, celebrate their accomplishments and help them understand the hard work involved.

You'll Understand Later?

A dismissive phrase like "you'll understand when you grow up" can make a child feel belittled and irrelevant. Instead, engage with them on their level and acknowledge their questions.

Family Strife

Family arguments can harm a child's psyche, creating a sense of insecurity. Involving a child in arguments or comparing them to combatants only adds to their distress.

Because I Said So!

Treating a child like a soldier with orders to follow isn't ideal. Instead, foster independence and conscious decision-making. By following orders blindly, a child may struggle to make decisions in adulthood.

I Told You So!

Gloating over your correctness and pointing out your child's mistakes only intensifies their feelings of guilt and frustration. Be empathetic and understanding instead. Guide them gently towards making better choices.

[1] Guo, F., Niu, X., Pei, L., & Wang, C. (2016, August). Early life stress, cortisol, and late-life social withdrawal: The mediating effect of family-related variables. Retrieved October 17, 2022, from https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-01628-003

[2] Kim, J., & Miller, P. (2002, June). Validation strategies and parent-child relationships. Retrieved October 17, 2022, from https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/men.10020

[3] Dishion, T. J., & Andrews, F. M. (1995). An ecological approach to understanding oppositional children within families. Retrieved October 17, 2022, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK231905/

  1. In the realm of health-and-wellness, the language we use towards our children can significantly impact their future, as words spoken in childhood can shape their personalities and influence their adult lives.
  2. Engaging in parenting that involves empty threats about institutions like prisons, orphanages, or homelessness can lead to a child's disrespect, as they realize the void in the parents' words over time.
  3. The science of relationships reveals that calling a child derogatory names like "useless," "sloppy," or "aimless" can destroy their self-esteem and create behaviors that persist into adulthood.

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